My own dear husband of twenty-five years is sending me stupid quizzes. On this one, apparently, one is required to reply "yes" to everything. Or else, no long term relationship. The two of us must be the exception to the rule.
____ Are you clear about how much appreciation your partner needs you to show, and do you keep working to show it even if you don’t understand why he or she needs it so much?
____ Do you defer to your partner’s “housework help” criteria by doing more even though you think you already do more than your fair share?
____ Do you “stifle” yourself by not saying what you feel like saying because you think it might hurt your partner’s feelings?
____ Do you acknowledge and try to live up to your partner’s ideas about personal hygiene practices even though they are not the same as yours and even seem silly?
____ Do you try to dress in ways that please your partner even though you would sooner wear something else?
____ Do you try to live up to your partner’s definition of punctuality?
____ Are you willing to talk on your partner’s terms by listening as long as he or she wants and talking about what he or she wants to talk about, even if it requires you to draw on your entire store of energy, attention, and ability to mask boredom?
____ Do you do things (such as shopping, watching sports, yard work) just because your partner loves doing them and enjoys them more when you do them with her or him?
____ Do you avoid correcting your partner even when you easily and rightly could?
____ Do you pay attention to being a good sleeping partner by sacrificing the sheets, not rolling over because you might wake your partner, turning off the light or television even when you would sooner leave them on, and trying to go to bed and get up in synch with your partner?
____ Do you know what makes your partner laugh, try to cheer him or her up when you can, and laugh at your partner’s jokes even when you’ve heard them many times before?
____ Are you cautious with your comments and jokes even though you think your partner is oversensitive on some issues? (The AT&T rule of marital humor: Is your joke Appropriate, Timely, and Tasteful—by your partner’s standards, not yours?)
____ Have you asked about your partner’s sexual preferences and turn-offs (not assumed them), and do you try to comply with them?
____ Do you “lie” well to your partner by complimenting cooking or projects that you really consider a disaster?
____ Do you think your partner would eagerly marry you again?
Got one (1) right. Yes, I avoided correcting my partner even though I had a sharp knife in my right hand. Now I am wasted, from the waist up, and in a wheelchair.
Do I still qualify for your free booklet 'Life is a Solo Thing'?
If there were such a booklet, yes. Sorry to hear about the wheelchair. But at least you can't jump in and out of Montreal taxicabs and lose your wallet, grrrr.